| don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say... |
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| AMAZING! i'm writing in here... |
[18 Dec 2005|11:58am] |
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i guess this just means i really am procrastinating. ok survey thing.
10 years ago I was...:
1.in Ms. Forslind's 2nd grade class
2.scared of locking bathrooms cause i thought i'd be locked in (shut up)
3.really scared of this evil looking tree in our backyard
4.always wearing my hair in a high ponytail
5.much less stressed out in general
5 years ago I was...:
1. really akward (wait, i still am)
2.in 7th grade at Stone Valley (ahhh)
3. really unsure of who i was
4. in the musical Little Shop of Horrors
5. afraid to tell anyone who i had a crush on
1 year ago I was...:
1. stressin out about them jr. year grades
2. confused about a lot of things
3. falling in love
4. dancing in my nuddy pants (....kidding)
5. taking too many hard classes
Yesterday I...:
1. went to the library to study
2. had serious issues parking at starbucks where i got a latte that i shouldnt have since i'm just getting over the flu and it made my stomach hurt a lot
3. wrapped my secret nondenominational figure lingere gift
4. stayed up later than i should have
5. watched the kenneth brannaugh version of henry v (sav!)
5 snacks I enjoy:
1. ice cream
2. chocolate
3. plain yogurt (wow can i spell?) with walnut, bananas and honey
4. preztels and grapes (together!)
5. you
5 songs I know all the words to:
(too many to name only 5 but ok)
1. evil - interpol
2. blue in the face - alkaline trio
3. elephant love medley (and come what may) - moulin rouge
4. paper bag - fiona apple
5. time is running out - muse
5 things I would do with 100 million dollars:
1. as corny as it sounds, seriously, donate it to a good cause - hurricaine relief, medical disease research, scholarships for underpriveledged people, anything for relief of third world countries
2. create my own personal enormous movie library
3. pay for college for me adn for my sister and have lots and lots of spending cash
4. go shopping for me and for presents for my friends/family
5. not have to worry about having no money as a starving actor in the future
5 places I would run away to:
1. barnes and nobles
2. england!!!
3. wherever ritty was
4. new york
5. young rep!!! or even just teh dean lesher :)
5 things I would never wear:
1. um fur
2. light pink/blue uggs. the ugliest things. ever.
3. anything huge and fluffy ...unless it was like a costumein a show or something
4. um... i dont know? are we talking in public here?
5. hmm... disease-ridden rags. that have like AIDS and herpes and shit on them.
5 favorite TV shows:
1. Gilmore Girls
2. Gray's Anatomy
3. SNL (older ones)
4. Boy Meets World
5. Commander in Chief
5 biggest joys:
1. theatre
2. real friends and family
3. great movies and books
4. music
5. being alive
5 fictional characters I would date
1. Count Almashy (the English Patient... Ralph Fiennes.. mmm)
2. Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy
3. Danny Zuko (thanks Mariss)
4. Jay Gatsby (duh!)
5. Christian from Mouline Rouge
The End
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[03 Oct 2005|10:14pm] |
wow i never write in here anymore... turned into a myspace whore. well...no...yeah. so i should change/update this layout. and start writing in here again...except i would rather write personal stuff in a journal by my bed that no one can read...and myspace is more convinient for networking/whatever cause more people i know are on it...shiiiit. i am such a procrastinator. whooo.
the end.
<3
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| quiz |
[27 May 2005|01:18am] |
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yes, it's late.
Advanced Global Personality Test Results | Extraversion | |||||||||||||||||| | 73% | | Stability | |||| | 20% | | Orderliness | |||||||||||||| | 53% | | Empathy | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Interdependence | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Intellectual | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | Mystical | |||||||||||||||| | 70% | | Artistic | |||||||||||||||||||| | 90% | | Religious | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | Hedonism | || | 10% | | Materialism | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Narcissism | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | Adventurousness | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Work ethic | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | Self absorbed | |||||||||||| | 43% | | Conflict seeking | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Need to dominate | |||||||||||| | 50% | | | Romantic | |||||||||||||||||||| | 83% | | Avoidant | |||||| | 30% | | Anti-authority | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Wealth | |||||||||||||||||||| | 83% | | Dependency | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Change averse | |||||| | 30% | | Cautiousness | |||||||||||||||| | 70% | | Individuality | |||||||||||||||| | 70% | | Sexuality | |||||||||||||||| | 63% | | Peter pan complex | |||||| | 30% | | Physical security | |||||||||||||||||||| | 83% | | Food indulgent | |||||||||| | 36% | | Histrionic | |||||||||||||||| | 70% | | Paranoia | |||||||||||||| | 56% | | Vanity | |||||||||||| | 50% | | Hypersensitivity | |||||||||||||||||||| | 90% | | Female cliche | |||||||||||||||||||| | 83% | |
| Stability results were low which suggests you are very worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious. Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun. Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity. trait snapshot: open, tough, irritable, worrying, does not like to be alone, craves attention, low self control, emotionally sensitive, interacting, sad, very social, aggressive, prefer organized to unpredictable, dependent, social chameleon, suspicious, values the heart over the mind, likes large parties, outgoing, likes to make fun, likes to fit in, mildly phobic, vain, makes friends easily, enjoys leadership, clingy, rash Take Free Advanced Global Personality Testpersonality tests by similarminds.com
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[26 May 2005|11:20pm] |
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mood |
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 emo |
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so. a few things. i'll try and keep it short since um i have so much to do still..
firstly: OM WORLD
so mcuh fun. it was seriously sooo nice getting away from school for a while. even just being back today i realized how much i actually dont liek being at monte vista. just sick of the routine, sick of many of the people, sick of everything. but OM. mucho fun with the team and then the best was after the awards ceremony --> cotton candy + bus + ice cream & bawls (& pimpjuice lol ewwww) + poker + emo music + 10 fingers + boulder breakfast club. i slept from liek 5:30am-7:00am and then caught a plane home. crashed teh whole way. my immune system was low i guess so now i'm pretyt sick lol o dear. and way behind on sleep still.. no idea when ima catch up. but it was so worth it. i think i really needed a night like :)
secondly: RANT
cant stand school. cant stand... way too many people right now. cant stand drama class. i really need to break this routine it's not getting me any less depressed lol but there's not much i can do but work my ass off till school's out. and yeah. oooh looking forward to girls ngiht with natalie and choir girls on sat night.. and maybe i'll watch a good movie tomorrow night while i draw my XC english thing. but that's about it. i was so upset/pissed off for so mcuh of today. there are lots of mean things i want to write in here. but i wont. kelsey (<3) and i had a venting session earlier so i guess i'll keep them to myself and not bitch any more on my lj... damn my throat hurts.
so... i need to do more things that make me happy. i know people arent ecstatically happy all the time - no one is, i wouldnt want to be. and i'm not syaing i dont ever want to be sad/lonely/emo. there is a sort of.. goodness about the pain in a weird way(that sounds really masocistic lol). but i just dont want to be like that all the time (i.e. now pretty much). i also need to hibernate and sleep for a week. or more. buuuut emily is freaking coming back in less than a month! holy crap i'm so excited i've missed her so much this year. i hope i have enough time to spend with her cause it's during the first week of YR and all.. hmm.
there's a lot more ranting i have to do but i guess that can wait or be done in my private journal or whatnot cause yeah. i swear next post i'll have somethign more interesting than me being depressed agian. and i'm not like that allll the time. i just have more incentive to write in this thing at those times when i am cause it feels better to just i dunno write stuff down.
i'm still in the i-dont-really-fit-in-anywhere mode. seriously. i just dont feel very happy/comfortable around very many people that i see on a daily basis. sad but true.
time for more cough drops...
<3, carly
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[20 May 2005|12:56am] |
still feeling pretty.. meh. better in some ways. worse in others. hmm. yeah.
yeah, hurry up already, summer.
i really am loving one flew over the cuckoo's nest. (honestly dont know what ima do without schutzy's class next year.. sad.) anyway, this one quote i particularly like: "And later, hiding in the latrine from the black boys, I'd take a look at my own self in the mirror and wonder how it was possible that anybody could manage such an enormous thing as being what he was."
i think i've decided that i mostly hate high school. right now at least.
i think i'm losing my faith in humaniy. i think i'm losing my faith in a lot of things.
i've never actually had what you'd call a best friend. really, in my whole life, never just one person who was always there for me adn i was always there for them and we loved each other above the rest. maybe i sort of did in 2nd and 3rd grade. but not REALLY really. i guess either i go through them or they go through me too fast.. like i'll be especially close to someone for a few months and then.. just not so close anymore. or maybe that's very normal. in any case, i dont think it should be. but the point of this paragraph was that in my present mental/emotional state i see more and more the significantly greater value of a few very close and very real friendship over a larger number of more superificial ones. yes, i know, this sounds very obvious but sometimes it's not. or it is but it just ..doesnt work out that way? i think everyoen's always thought it would be really cool to have like a small group of 4 or 5 closeknit friends, like you always see in books and movies. too bad i'm so idealistic. or any size group of friends of any sort i guess, as long as you have one person with whom you exchange unconditional love and trust and loyalty. that's a best friend, i think. i think the person you marry should be your best friend. not saying i think you should marry your best friend; that's different. but before you marry someone, they should become your best friend. if you get what i mean... hmm well my mind is all over the place tonight. this is turning into a much longer entery than i intended it to be.. as usual?
i think oftentimes i'm too trusting and too eager to confide in people that dont want that or arent ready for that. i dont want to become hard and cynnical or anything.. i just dont want to be a nuissance. and i dont want to be used, either.
i'm getting sort of excited for boulder.
the cut from the metal staple thing that sliced my foot last night is looking better. good times.
i'm very tired.
i think i should go to sleep.
carly
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| i like this one |
[08 May 2005|09:40pm] |
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01. Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie remind me of you.
03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, it would be...
04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you
i will actually follow through this time.
<3, carly
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[01 May 2005|03:51pm] |
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as you like it was so good - more detailed update later.
AP test = DUMB. i have to go to be early tonight. gah.
not exactly ready for voice recital.. o well. here goes nothing...
wheee.
the end.
<3, carly
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[29 Apr 2005|05:13pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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( random crap )
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| it's a little sad... |
[26 Apr 2005|04:03pm] |
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sick of school. not just the almost constant workload, but even more... is it just me or do lots of people seem to have very low tolerance level for so many other people lately? it's kind of sad.. just.. sick of everyone saying shit behind other people's backs or just not.. not tolerating. i know everyone's under a lot of stress. but i dont really think relieving the stress will make it go away in many cases. no one understands each other any more or makes an effort to empathize or anything. so tired of worrying about everyone hating each other. it's just so stupid. life's too short. way too many people at monte vista need some perspective right now. and it's weird.. i guess just.. one of the worst things for me is hearing people saying bad things about other people or being mean just because, not making an effort to be more understanding or whatever. yeah another reason i cant wait for this summer is because i love theater people, you can talk about everything with a lot them, like really talk and you feel safe and comfortable and there's always some "drama" i guess, but there's more love than hate. i also feel like right now not a lot of people that i see daily are.. i dunno. i guess i just dont feel very close to many of them. kinda sad.. ok yeah blah i'm stupid, done ranting..
the end
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| uh |
[24 Apr 2005|09:29pm] |
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mood |
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hopeful |
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rarely update this anymore.. or my xanga. mostly i'm here http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=7548727&Mytoken=20050424213300 which is kinda sad... yeah.
oooohhh so i'm amazingly EXCITED for YR intership this summer ahhhhhhhhhhhhh just my letter haha so yeah XD
wheeeee
o shit. amber just reminded me of a french test i have tomorrow that i didnt think was till wed. gah.
yeah. dont really feel like telling my life story on this thing at the moment.. ok i'm done.
<3 carly
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| our milkshake brings all the judges to the yard... |
[10 Apr 2005|09:17pm] |
this weekend was state OM. missed ohlone so i was sad. buuuut we came in first in the state for OM. and had so mucho fun :D and miramone got 2nd so lauren's team is coming to boulder too! our region dominated this year. take that, bitches. um... best part was the buffoon. he was scary. and the long car rides and CD of the gods both versions and singing so much and being nervous and almost being sick and being so happy and whooo crazy times dont have time for details geez i never blog any more how sad.. um check out jess's xanga if you really want more details lol..
love, carly
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| SUDAN RELIEF SHOW!!!! |
[16 Mar 2005|08:51pm] |
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tickets on sale TODAY - contact a band member or any member or monte vista amnesty to buy yours!
kudos to jess for the amazing flyer seen above.
BE THERE.
<3, carly
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[06 Feb 2005|09:44pm] |
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havent written for a little while. hmm.
friday night director's night was fun. yay.
rest of the weekend basically involved doing hw. which sucked. whoo.
OM was cool though.
im so fucking tired. i dont know why but i just didnt feel like going to sleep last night until... way too late. gah. im so stupid.
yeah so im gonna go to bed really early tonight. for me i mean.
i'm reading my name is asher lev. it's really good. makes me want to have more time to paint/draw again. ahhh. never enough time for anything..
love, carly
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[01 Feb 2005|07:57pm] |
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today = awesome voice lesson
AH. i actually was completely satisfied with my song the last 2 times i sang it! ...you dont understand.. this NEVER happens ahhaha.
anyway. crazy amounts of drama rehearsal soon to start up.. more stress and time, but still.. fun :)
in other news... well not much other news. come see DETECTIVE STORY. Feb 16, 17, 18. be there. or else. and uh... fat english research project is gonna keeeeeaaal me. hmm. i have so much crap to do WHOOO STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
i ran tonight for a wee bit. be proud.
and finally... everyone keeps talking about prom. shhhhhhhh i have enough to stress about already. gah. gah, john procter..
love, carly
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[28 Jan 2005|11:10pm] |
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today...
main event: drama drama. o man. dont even go there. but i talked to a lot of people about it. and i think this may have helped and i think it will take some work but things will turn out well..
o and my sister's bat mitzvah is tomorrow so we have all this family in from all over. yay i got to see my michigan relatives. good times at dinner <33333
whooo.
fucking hiccups. wont go away.
i should sleep soon.. maybe...
love, carly
p.s. kinda random but... i really appreciate a lot of my friends and love them very very much. i dunno but lately.. i guess just of all the shitty things and people that are in the world it makes it so special to find people you can love and trust. i just.. over this past year i feel i've really grown as a person. dont know if anyone can tell or not but i've learned a lot. and one thing that's really really grown, especially over these past few months, and every day of my life, is my appreciation for these people. just thought i'd share.. <333333333333333
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[24 Jan 2005|01:20pm] |
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i ran today. and yesterday. haha again, we'll see how long i keep it up..
gatsby essay.. haha just found it's due on wed.. but i worked on it yesterday. and i will more today.
fun times at OM yesterday. singing lion king :) whooo
came home, angelica and caila came over. we watched ever after. i've been wanting to watch that again for a while. haha i love that movie. classic <3. then angelica had to leave. so caila and i sat and talked for a bit and then watched apt pupil. ahhh scary. intense. it was awesome. haha caila and i always watch movies together about jew-haters.. whoo. and then we fell asleep.
not much else new. back to school tomorrow. but it's only a 4 day week whoo.
and all my family from michigan is comming in and i havent seen them in such a long time! yay im excited :)
i still need a good title for my gatsby essay...
yeah.. that's about it.
i will leave you with a quote from the end one of my favorite movies..
(come on, someone must know this one..)
"So I guess this is where I tell you what I learned - my conclusion, right? Well, my conclusion is: Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it. Derek says it's always good to end a paper with a quote. He says someone else has already said it best. So if you can't top it, steal from them and go out strong. So I picked a guy I thought you'd like. 'We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.' "
love, carly
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[23 Jan 2005|12:35am] |
yesterday: phys final didnt rape me. whoo! came home, watched breakfast club and american beauty. both great great great movies. seriously. o man. i love movies <33333333333333
today: hair done, SAT crap, and then hung out with lauren! yay. ate dinner, talked, good times. then went to barnes and noble and i couldnt find the moulin rouge cd. wtf? guess i'll have to order it online.. k. and i saw caila face there <3. best part: lauren and me sitting in the little nook by the theatre section reading "no fear shakespeare" and cracking up (wow we are so lame) but it was so much fun hahaha. and we scared this man away. oooh good times. then we saw coach carter. it was good, not great, but i enjoyed it. so then we're waiting outside and it's fucking cold. waiting for my mom to pick me up cause she didnt wanna leave me alone in deserted downtown walnut creek at night. haha so dangerous, i know. but still. these like 5 or 6 guys in a car drove up to us and they were like "where are you ladies goin tonight?" and we look at each other and she was like "home." ...hahahahaha. classic moment. whooo.. ok.
im done.
love, carly
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| procrastinating... whoo. |
[19 Jan 2005|09:55pm] |
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mood |
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 stressed |
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what can i say? finals suck. actually math final wasnt killer (way to make me freak out for nothing *coughmattcough*). but maybe that was because i studied my ass off.
hmm tomorrow im gonna get raped by my french final. and if i dont keep an A in that class (right now i have somewhere between a 90 and 92) then i lose my 4.0
fuckshitdamn.
and now...
Reply to this post and
1. I will tell you what song reminds me of you.
2. I will tell you what celebrity/public/fictional person you remind me of, either personality-wise or looks-wise.
3. I will give you one word that I associate with you when I think of you.
4. I will tell you what color(s) I associate with you.
Then steal this for your journal and make someone else's day as well.
love, carly
( good times )
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